DARK CITIES – All New Tales Of Urban Terror
Edited by Christopher Golden
Titan Books
Released May 16, 2017
Reviewed by Brian James Lewis

Dark Cities is an excellent collection of 20 brand new short stories of urban terror that’s just been released by Titan Books! Great roster of writers including Kasey Lansdale & Joe R. Lansdale, Tim Lebbon, Cherie Priest, Jonathan Maberry, Paul Tremblay, and Scott Sigler! The legendary Christopher Golden edits and also contributes his short story The Revelers to these 400 pages of greatness.

I really like this collection because everything feels so real and absolutely possible. While terror spans a wide style of approaches, including giant monsters or extremely freak events, these stories hit us where we live. Let’s face it, most cities at night are creepy places with lots of known threats such as muggers, drive-by shootings, sex traffickers, and dark alleys, just to name a few. Sure, the police do the best they can, but we can’t always rely on them to save us. Especially when it comes to the ancient supernatural forces that don’t always look threatening at first glance. They find it easy to hide in the vast populations of cities and under the cover of darkness might even pass as glamorous.

Such is the case in Christopher Golden’s The Revelers in which the main characters attend a huge after hours party in NYC seeking fun and excitement. At first, things are rowdy, sexy, and fun. But soon that morphs into concern and then terror on the narrator’s part when he keeps going into rooms that are way too large for the average city brownstone. Not only that, even the sky looks wrong when he finds a window. Where the hell are they, and why are there people in zoot suits mingling with young hipsters? How come the amount of drugs and alcohol never flags? While Tim is not entirely sure what this place and who the occupants really are, he knows that he and his friends need to get out of there. But it’s not that easy.

While we’re puzzling over strange apartments, let’s check out the one in Dear Diary by Scott Sigler. Sometimes you just find “your” place in the big city. In fact, it seems like maybe a particular place has been waiting just for you. Such is the case for a young man who moves into a place to be closer to his married girlfriend. The results are far from expected. The human romance fizzles as Robert becomes more and more infatuated with his very vintage apartment. He even begins to read and participate in a strange diary that has been left behind by previous tenants, all of whom disappeared one day and were never heard from again. Eventually Robert never leaves his apartment at all, preferring to spend his days wandering around it naked. Until one day, when he literally becomes part of the place. Is it possible for an apartment to be carnivorous?

Kasey and Joe R. Lansdale knock it out of the park with their piece, Dark Hill Run. A fella by the name of Johnny goes to see a psychotherapist because he wants to quit smoking. Little does he know that the pleasant and quirky doctor he goes to is about to dredge up a horrible memory that Johnny has kept hidden in his head. Johnny stops smoking all right, but sleep becomes a nightmare! As a side effect of being hypnotized, his brain has brought forth the miserable school bully who made Johnny into the great runner he is today. That’s bad, but what’s worse is that every time Johnny sleeps, his tormentor becomes stronger and more real. His doctor attempts to help him, but even though he means well, he can’t do much. Eventually, Johnny has to rely on the thing he’s always done. He runs like the Devil himself were after him. But he’s exhausted and his strength falters…Just as it looks like “game over” for Johnny, he gets some help from the bakery delivery truck driver who nearly runs him over every day. Very good punchline at the end! Some personal demons are not so bad when compared to what “cures” can bring out. Bravo!

That’s just a small sampling of the 20 excellent stories you’ll be enjoying when you pick up a copy of Dark Cities from Titan Books. I highly recommend this title! Remember, these are all brand-new stories from popular modern Horror writers in a strikingly handsome book that you will enjoy dipping into for years to come. Just one warning from Tim Lebbon’s In Stone, be careful of examining your city too closely. The city may notice you, and that’s not a good thing.

SNAKE OIL SALESMAN OF THE WEEK
Brian Halsey
March 13, 2017
Dark Serpent/Ravenswood Publishing
Reviewed by Brian James Lewis

Howdy folks! It’s time for another review from yours truly, which I hope will be both informative and encourage people to read more books. I just have a quick announcement to make before we get started. To all the writers and publishers that have entrusted me with your work, I just want to say thank you! I also want to say how much I appreciate it when writers go the extra mile to sign their books and perhaps write something like, “Hope you enjoy reading this. Thanks for the review!” Awesome! That makes my day and usually earns said book a place on the “wall of fame” over my desk. BUT…When a person uses up two pages of the book to annoy me with a bunch of stuff that might have been hilarious when the writer was intoxicated, it doesn’t do a lot to endear them to me. Unfortunately, that’s what I walked into when I opened the cover of Snake Oil Salesman of the Week by Brian Halsey.

Since this novella is basically a “Brotastic” piece of weird fiction, I guess that fits right in. Snake Oil Salesman of the Week is a jumble of confusing events that manages to include the Jersey Devil, drinking, drug use, a lot of profanity, and extreme levels of Bro-ness. You really have to be totally into the last theme, otherwise a lot of the intended humor is not going to strike you as such. That’s just the facts.

The main story is that a semi-successful artist in a small town is tricked into selling his soul to the Devil. He can get his soul back in exchange for two more, but he has only a week to accomplish this feat. What sounds like an easy bit of trickery turns into a strange love story for a small town when the artist realizes that he doesn’t want to steal anyone else’s soul. Said town then backs him up in his fight against the Devil and they win. At least I think that’s what happens. With all the beer drinking, weed smoking, and magic mushroom use, things get kind of garbled.

Yes, the book is supposed to be funny. I got that. But the laughs become predictable too quickly and are aimed at a specific demographic. Soon the reader finds themselves wading through a lot of pointless activities, so much profanity it’s just stupid, and a short cameo by…Cthulu? Really Bro? With all the mysteries and hauntings of the New Jersey Pine Barrens, that’s the best you can grab?

I spent quite a few years of my life living in Lambertville, New Jersey and just over the border in Pennsylvania, so I know a fair bit about the Pine Barrens and the Jersey Devil. Not to mention the Leni Lenape Indians, Washington crossing the Delaware River on Christmas Eve, and a boatload of other cool stuff that could have been mined to great effect. We had a well- documented ghostly hitchhiker on the bridge between New Hope and Lambertville which could have fit in there nicely, for example.

On the bright side, the artwork for the cover is really cool. Well done, Peter Halsey! I also like the crusty tough old men characters that impart wisdom to Bro-tagonist Andy James. Every small town has these people and they definitely are the glue that holds the world together. They also make decent straight men to the manic James. So the book is not entirely without merit, it just could’ve been so much better with a little extra work.

Recommendation? Halsey doesn’t do justice to all the legends of his chosen setting. There are also a lot of typos and at times, words that don’t make sense. Hopefully for Halsey there are a lot of Uber Bros out there who have enough cash for a 30-pack and a novella. This book was written especially for you guys! If you are not one of them, hold onto your cash and get ready for my upcoming review of Dark Cities, an urban horror anthology edited by the legendary Christopher Golden. Stay tuned!

HP Lovecraft’s The Hound and Other Stories
By Gou Tanabe
Dark Horse Comics
To be Released on July 25, 2017
Reviewed by Brian James Lewis

 WOW! This is an incredible adaptation of three HP Lovecraft tales into graphic novella form by a very talented artist! I pretty much trashed my whole day so I could read this cover to cover! And you know what? I have a pretty strong feeling that a lot of other Horror fans are going to be doing the very same thing when Dark Horse releases this amazing work by Gou Tanabe on July 25^th!

While I cannot claim to be an expert on Howard Phillips Lovecraft, I have studied him and read his stories in the wee hours of the morning during a full moon (for real!). Besides the issues that people may have with Lovecraft, the truth is that he was a damn good storyteller! His stories endure because of the way they engage the reader’s mind. They set the stage with “Valuable metals not of this earth,” and things so horrible that the narrator will only take a stab at describing. This kind of writing opens the floodgates of our imaginations wide for all the Demons to come out and play. Gou Tanabe has soaked in all the madness, dark shadows, and creepy details of each story and put them on paper for us to enjoy. I will readily admit that I am fairly critical of other people’s interpretations of what I read, but these stories have been done a high level of justice.

The Temple begins with amazingly intricate artwork. We’re aboard a Nazi U-boat that is out doing the business of war. This boat seems to be a successful one that has just downed a British ship. However, a problem remains. There is a dead soldier clinging to the U-boat’s railing. The ship’s lieutenant and a few crewmen go pry him loose, only to find a rare artifact on him. The lieutenant sees the monetary value of the thing and slips it into his pocket, thereby sealing the fate of everyone aboard the ship. Soon the men are sick, the ship’s engine blows up, and there is an attempt at mutiny. As a last hope for salvation, some of the crew members petition the lieutenant to get rid of the ancient stone idol. They are killed for their efforts. Eventually only the Captain and Lieutenant remain alone aboard a drifting sub with only battery power. Then it’s just the captain who finds his U-boat deep at the bottom of the sea in the lost city of Atlantis. As the ship runs out of power, the captain sends his diary to the surface in a sealed jar and enters a vast temple full of light and music. But how is that possible?

Ever consider robbing graves for fun and profit? The Hound illustrates why this is one very bad idea. As the young man telling the story says-

“God…May Heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us both to so monstrous a fate” Two young guys have been robbing graves and collecting rare items from the dead that might give them the powers of darkness if they keep studying The Necronomicon and abiding by the teachings of Abdul Alhazred. They entertain themselves this way for a while, until they make their really big score, a magic amulet taken from the neck of a grave robber in Holland who has been dead over 500 years. It is a jade idol of a winged hound, the legend of which the boys chuckle over as quaint. The Hound is enormous and very real. Many will die for their mistake.

Last, but definitely not least is The Nameless City which is about a man travelling through the desert in search of a lost city so horrible that it does not even have a name. A city of ancient powerful beings that were here on earth long before Christ and definitely before man. Our traveler sees how amazingly rich they were, yet their appearances under glass is horrifying. Why do they look so well-preserved? Is it because they aren’t really dead? Even the moaning wind betrays the truth of the temple and its inner world. Lovecraft often complained of horrible, frightening dreams that left him feeling weak and ill. Tanabe’s illustrations pound home the scary creatures that lived in those nightmares. This isn’t just a little noise under the bed or a tree tapping on the window. No funny monsters who want to be your pal like in a Pixar flick, either!

Should you purchase HP Lovecraft’s The Hound and Other Stories? Yes, you should! Then be ready to call in sick the next day. You won’t be getting any sleep!

A Place of Skulls and other Tales
David Ludford
Parallel Universe Publications
Released 10/4/2016
Reviewed by Brian James Lewis

This interesting collection of twelve speculative fiction shorts by David Ludford have all been previously published in SCHLOCK! Magazine, so they are tried and true tales. Well, perhaps the author and magazine stay constant, but the stories do not. This a wide variety of tales that make for pretty good reading. Most of them are short enough to zip through in 15-30 minutes, which is handy for multi-taskers like…well, pretty much everybody in the world these days! Although the cover refers to these stories as Terror, that’s up for interpretation. I lean towards Strange and Uncanny, which gives this volume a much wider audience. There are a few swears in here, but nothing extreme or over the top. Since these stories are very English, you might be puzzled by a few terms or scenarios such as “the mobile,” which means cell phone and everyone has a garden.

Let’s get on to some of the stories:

Killing Clowns is definitely a creepy piece full of twists and turns. When the circus comes to each small European town it visits, the members take full advantage of the residents. They get free lodging, the best food, fine booze, and the freedom to shag any woman they desire. If the residents comply, they are allowed to live until next time the circus comes around. However, if they don’t, mayhem ensues. When the clowns are questioned about their rude behavior and then challenged, they kill. A few brave villagers stand up to the circus and suffer the comeuppance for doing so.

Dummies has costume shop mannequins escaping from the window they’re kept in and killing people for no apparent reason. The police don’t get very far on the case, so a newspaper reporter decides to take things on himself. He is scoffed at for his explanation that something supernatural is responsible for the seemingly random deaths. Even the Chief of police is murdered by these crazed dummies! More certain than ever, the reporter attempts to forge an allegiance with the chief’s successor. Alas, another sort of partnership has already been formed and our reporter friend is in the wrong place at the right time. The story doesn’t end. Instead it leaves us with the feeling that a LOT more bad things are in the future.

The Box –An eccentric fellow worships a small television set that he’s placed on an altar of sorts. It appears to be broken with its cracked screen and assorted damage, yet the fellow gets his instructions from it. The box tells him what to do and how to do it. When the man is no longer needed, the box gets rid of him. This story could be looked at as an actual happening or perhaps a person’s battle with extreme mental illness. It makes you think about all the crazy shooters in public places as of late and where their guidance comes from.

Sleepwalker is a cool story that takes a couple read-throughs to completely get everything in its proper place. Well, maybe it just took me that long to put everything together! Either way, you have a young woman in a nightgown meeting a dangerous creature in the middle of the night and interacting with it. Then we meet a couple of people who are in the midst of building a romance. It is all very cute until the young man comes to pick up his girlfriend for a date and finds a horror story instead. Lots going on in this one and I don’t want to be a spoiler!

A Place of Skulls and other tales is a good read with a wide variety to it. Definitely unsettling, but in a good way! Scary but not over the top with the blood and gore. Give it a try, I think you’ll like it!